On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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