So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
