I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
