Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
