I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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