I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
