That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
