Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
