the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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