i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A+ Viking dick
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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