doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
