he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
