Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
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