I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
