Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
