Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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