8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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