Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he thought i was a dude.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
