Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
