But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
