is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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