I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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