Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
