Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
