uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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