the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You don't make any sense
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