Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
wanna go halves on a baby?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
