I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
