I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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