I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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