my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
