and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
