We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
