Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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