The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
