took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize