Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
