Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You need Xanax blowdarts
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
