My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We need to get me chipped asap
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
