Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
