Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
