I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
