I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
