that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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