was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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