I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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