Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
