Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
