just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
