Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
