It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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