they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
